Dear diary:
Today was actually a rather erudite day! I woke up at around nine this morning, hopped in the shower and then got on with my day by around twelve.
As per my decision yesterday, I extended Jackie Selebi’s contract. I know, I know, this isn’t going to be a popular choice with the people but you have to understand my point of view here. Jackie and I had tea the other day and he explained the situation to me very clearly. His logic was that to fight crime you have to become a criminal… kind of like an undercover agent they have in the movies. Not only did his explanation make a lot of sense he also brought me a really nice watch and these awesome aviator sunglasses. They make me feel like I’m in that Top Gun movie when I wear them! Either way, forgive and forget right?
Tomorrow is also a very exciting day for me! Up north my old struggle comrade Bob is going to have a run off against that colonial puppet Morgan Tsvangirai. Bob’s gotten a lot of bad press lately but I mean which ruler doesn’t have their bad months right? Frankly any man as well educated as Mugabe gets my vote.
Sure, there’s a lot of drama surrounding the run-off but I honestly just think this whole thing is going to blow over and be peachy. Since half of Zimbabwe lives in South Africa anyway I’ve been considering approaching Bob for talks about singing that Spice Girls song together – I think it’s called “Two become one”. Not only does that solve the illegal immigrant problem but also would totally tick off that grade school dropout JZ.
World leaders have been putting a lot of pressure on me but I think “better the devil you know” right? At the end of the day Bob isn’t such a bad guy, he even bailed me out when there was that issue of my house being part of the “redistribution” process in South Africa.
One more thing diary! I’m excited to tell you I have a great long weekend planned for the wife and me. We’re off to London for uncle Nelson’s birthday. I leave tomorrow and I’m back on the 16th of July. The good news is that Jacob wasn’t invited so yet another thing to rub in his face next time we meet. I’m going to lay the “nyer nyer” on him thick and fast.
Thabo Mbeki – 26 June 2008
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wow, i never realised thabo had it so tough…well i guess having seen his diary i can forgive him for being a totally useless president ;p