I love Jozi

While driving home at 6:15 on a Friday night from a long day of Podcast editing the inevitable happened: I got stuck in traffic. I was awed by the fact that there was actually traffic when I assumed people should have gone home a long time before. Now this time made me realise how amazing a city I live in despite some pretty major flaws. This post is an ode to my love-hate relationship with the city I call my home: Johannesburg.

Traffic: The highway in Joburg is pretty much the only way of getting around quickly. At the moment, almost every highway is being upgraded from a three lane to a four lane monstrosity and as such there will be traffic regardless of the time or day of the week. While I hate the traffic I find it’s here that I do my best thinking and come up with some amazing, if not bizarre ideas. It’s just me, the radio and my thoughts and I love it. This is probably my number one love/hate relationship with Joburg but lately I’m leaning more towards love. The best for me though is how no one ever obeys the speed limit. Either you’ve got people driving at least 40 kilometers per hour slower than the limit or 40 kilometers per hour above the speed limit. This is not a city for middle ground.

Pace: This place is seriously fast paced. The reason Joburg is the place where business gets done is simply because people are desperate to succeed. Deals are made over expensive meals and the rat race is faster as well as bigger than anywhere else in the country. It’s not uncommon in the larger companies to work an eighty hour week but this seems almost acceptable since everyone else is doing it as well. The fact remains, if you’re looking for the buzz that surrounds a hive of activity then Joburg is the only place to be.

Weather: Cape Town has three months of solid rain and Durban is constantly unbearably humid but in Joburg we have a fairly constant climate. As I write this it’s close on 11 in the evening and my car just told me it’s 21 degrees. In winter it’s mildly uncomfortable in the morning and evening but on a whole you can expect a bright sunny day 80% of the year. Not only is it constantly warm but you get the pleasure of the most visually amazing lightening in the summer months. For me nothing quite beats sitting in my room with the lights off at night watching the lightening strike outside.

People: With such a fast paced, aggressive culture you’d think people would be stuck up and arrogant. The bad news is that they are but the good news is that people are excited to meet other people. You could go into any bar/club/social gathering and make a few new acquantances anyday. Call it people’s desire to network with other successful or potentially successful people but the reality is that there is a desire to meet new faces. There’s none of this “clique” factor that exists elsewhere in South Africa. Sure people are snobbish but if you are from the same social stratus (and you will be if you’re hanging in the same places) then they tend to be very friendly.

Looks: People wax lyrical about how Cape Town has the mountain and don’t get me wrong, I think Cape Town is one of the most beautiful cities in the world but Joburg has a certain something to it. I dare you to drive on the M1 highway between Empire and Hougton offramps in the evening and not find the view breathtaking. If you’re brave enough to stop your car on the side of the road you’ll be greeted with the view of the Westcliff hotel, the Zoo and thousands of trees lining leafy suburbs all lit up by hundreds of lights. Even town, which is basically a monument to 50’s and 60’s dodgy architecture has a beauty in it that you will not find anywhere else. Sure, we don’t have a mountain but we’ve got some amazing architecture both old and new. Add to the fact that there are tree’s throughout the cities suburbs then you’ve actually got a leafy paradise.

Glamour: This is hardly something I can comment on but Joburg is very glamorous. I only realised this when a friend from Cape Town mentioned how “done up” the women in Joburg are. It’s a city with expensive clubs frequented by models and wealthy BEE enriched businessmen. There is an abundance of trendy bars and restaurants. People are dressing for success and it shows.

Quirks: If there’s one thing Joburg has an abundance of that would be its quirks. On an average drive around the city you’ll avoid at least a couple of potholes all while never stopping at red lights so that you don’t get hijacked. You will drive as aggressively as possible and and you will hoot as much as you can. People have places to go and don’t get in their way. Road rage isn’t just acceptable but it’s the norm. Joburg is a city where one of the largest informal settlements in the country borders one of the richest areas in the country. It’s a city of don’t haves and have mores; again there is little middle ground. Even if you don’t fit into the “have mores” category you’ll live juggling one credit card debt onto the next card just to pretend you’re wealthy enough to own an expensive German sedan. The list of Joburg quirks is probably endless.

The reality of Jozi is that you cannot be a wimp to survive here. It’s a fascinating, troubled environment where a lot of hard work gets done while at the same time many dreams are shattered. I’m not always a fan and complain about it plenty but there is no doubt it’s a place worth living at least for the experience.

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