Black Racists

Yip, our country is totally screwed. Not only do the white people apparently hate black people but now black people are hating black people! As a white person how do I know if any black people I associate with are actually racists? I for one am petrified.

Jokes aside, there’s been a lot of perceived “black on black” racism in the past week. Fortunately, anyone with a double digit IQ (clearly not a lot of people in South Africa) knows that this is a rubbish statement.

Last week, ANC Spokesperson, Jesse Duarte had a mad tirade on a journalist from The Times. Somehow she thought the journalist insinuated that our lord and savior Jacob Zuma was unable to read. Saucy Jesse then went on to tell the journalist that “If you weren’t black I’d call you a racist. In fact maybe you are a racist”. See, clearly black on black racism happening here. I think Duarte went into crisis mode which usually result in her calling someone a “racist” then realised she was actually talking to a fellow “black” person. I say “black” mostly due to the fact that Jesse is pretty light herself. She’s about one skin whitening treatment away from having to change her name to “Tabitha Munroe” or something equally white.

If that wasn’t enough, (in my opinion) colourless 5FM presenter, DJ Fresh went and played a song called “Kaffir” (sue me) and got a terrible rap on the knuckles for it. Now in my little world I was always told that it’s okay for black people to call each other “nigger” (this is sarcasm) so did I miss the memo here? So ultimately Fresh has been fined ten thousand rand for playing the song. There’s no doubt that this word is an anachronistic throwback to a horrible past but surely context is important? It’s a song that is about not being called that name and being proactive. How on earth would a child born after 1994 know that if they get called a kaffir it’s a horrible word? Let’s be honest, this is more educational than offensive. Either way, it seems DJ Fresh is a less than subtle racist.

Finally, today the ANC Youth League has had a major apoplexy after a Nando’s advert featuring Julius Malema was screened. The advert parodies Julius and the Youth League has threatened “Militant action” if the adverts are not taken down and a full apology given. Ironically the man himself, Julius Malema is in good spirits about the advert, according to a report in the news this morning. Why is this considered black on black racism? The marketing manager of Nando’s is a one “Sylvester Chauke”, clearly an agent of colonialists. South Africa was built on satire and if we cannot laugh at ourselves then who can we laugh at? Satire follows people that do stupid things and if the Youth League can go so far as to threaten militant action then in twenty years voting for the ANC will be an even worse proposition than it is now.

If for some reason you’re still reading this you’re asking the important question: “What is Saul saying though?” Quite simply I ask this question: “Can we all chill out?” Stereotypes are fun and satire is one of the few forms of intellectual humour we have left today. Don’t go hating on Nando’s or DJ Fresh for trying to make you think, it just makes you look totally ignorant.

Here’s a thought though: “Vote for Nando’s for fast delivery and efficient service.

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